New book idea...

How NOT to Potty Train Your Children.

I have come up with so many good (terrible) ideas with this whole potty training thing, and my children are nowhere near being trained. They are boycotting the whole thing at this moment--they are over the praise, over the candy, over the run-fast/jump-high no-diaper feeling. They are utterly content in their nasty tail-flopping diapers. I finally caved and bought another $50 worth of diapers.

I failed to mention that my first potty progress with Arthur was facilitated by the fact that I set his potty in front of the TV and allowed him to watch it as long as he sat on the potty. He was so overdosed with cartoons that he relaxed enough to have some success. (And he refuses to go unless I approximate this same scenario most of the time.) Now I find myself continually rattling a jar of mixed candies in front of my children's faces, begging them to just stop long enough to sit on the potty. I'm so desperate, it's embarrassing. My lastest tactic is to just eat the candy out of their reward jar and scold them for not even attempting to be diaper-independent. "Well, if you're not going to go potty, then I'll just eat all of your candy for you." Now I'm so hooked on the sugar high that I can't stop eating the stuff. At night I finish the jar and we have to make another trip to the bodega to get more goodies. My bodega store owner is getting suspicious of my parenting techniques as I buy more and more sugar goodies.

Ugh! Will this ever end? I'm tired of changing poos as big and more numerous than mine. I'm tired of spending tons of money on diapers for two...not because they are incapable but because they inherited my stubborn willful tendencies. Is this payback time for all I put my parents through? Well, at least I'll get a book deal out of it...to save parents from failing as miserably as I have. I could call it, Potty Train Your Kids Before College or worse What to Expect When Your Kids Go to College in Diapers.

Maine Pictures

Maine was absolutely beautiful! We had a wonderful time exploring the area with Gigi and Marshall. Arthur preferred the beach and could spend hours in the same spot near the water--throwing rocks, discovering sea life, splashing... Adaline, on the other hand, never stopped moving. She especially appreciated the natural rock climbing on every shore. She and Arthur were so fast at climbing that they sometimes asked the adults if we needed help. It was a perfect natural playground full of new things to explore and discover. They were so happy!

This picture of Arthur shows #1 how excited he was anytime we were near water and #2 the effect of the frigid water on one's facial expression. Looking for crabs and sea urchins in the tidal pool.

Marshall point lighthouse.
Climbing rocks with Marshall.
Resting after a mile rock walk out to a lighthouse.