This is so frustrating!

My kids have very different responses to this feeling. Last weekend I was working with Arthur on a 3-D train puzzle that was quite complicated. After an hour of laboring over this project, Arthur proclaims, "This is so frustrating!... I love it!" Huh? He is so motivated by complicated, detailed, and precise projects. He becomes obsessed with them and is unwilling to give up no matter how difficult (and annoying) they get. He isn't necessarily having fun, but he is challenged and learning--two things that my son loves. He is a little scientist, through and through. He needs to know the answer to everything, and he always requires a good explanation for why things are the way they are.

Adaline is quite different. If an activity even sniffs of difficulty or challenge, she is on to the next project. Her response to frustration is "oh, it must not be for me" (spoken in a princess voice). She feels no remorse over giving up, no insecurity that her brother is able to do something that she is not. She can't imagine participating in something that is not oozing with enjoyment and pleasure. She watched Arthur and I build that train for 3 hours (yes, I'm serious) with utter confusion. I think she felt sorry for us, really. She was happily painting and drawing on her own terms with no instructions or expectations hanging over her. Ahh...freedom.

Adaline is comfortable and aware of her differences with her brother. "God made me different, Arthur, and I don't really like doing those things like you do." Arthur, on the other hand, is perplexed by his sister. I secretly listened in on a conversation the other day that they were having after bedtime:

Arthur: Adaline, I just don't understand why you say that you see fairies.

Adaline: I do see them. All of the time. Everywhere.

Arthur: But if you say that you see them, then you are saying that they are real. And that is a lie. Why are you trying to make me believe in this fake stuff? (getting pretty agitated at this point)

Adaline: You don't have to believe in fairies. I believe in Santa Claus and you don't.

Arthur: You can't believe in all of this fake stuff. It isn't real. You can't say that you see them. That would mean that they are real. You are lying! (downright angry now)

Adaline: Arthur, let's just not talk about it.

Arthur: This is so frustrating! (mommy intervenes and calms him down)
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Unfortunately for Arthur, his sister does not come with an instruction manual, and she can not be easily manipulated or controlled. This is one frustration for which he is going to have to learn a new skill. And it is more of an art than a science. Good luck, buddy!